MY INDIAN MAN

THIS IS OUTCOME OF A GIRLS NIGHT OUT....OUR THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS

My Indian Man likes to tease me sometimes by saying I'm his "Holiday in Goa". To this I just laugh and roll my eyes. I know I'm not, so he can tease all he wants. Goa is a popular vacation spot located on the west coast of India. It attracts hundreds of thousands of both international and domestic tourists each year. I first heard of it and the concept of having a holiday in Goa in a movie I watched with my Indian Man titled Outsourced.

To have a holiday in Goa is to have a love affair before one enters their arranged marriage. If you're not in a relationship with an Indian man or a man that is expected to have an arranged marriage, you may be wondering how this pertains to you.

My fellow women, it pertains to us all! You don't want to be your man's holiday in Goa, do you? You don't want to be putting your heart and soul into a relationship in which he's already seen the end beyond the horizon - do you? When I first met my Indian Man, we were exchanging a series of emails. I learned from these emails that he had a very traditional upbringing and that he was not against having an arranged marriage. So how can I be sure that when he teases me about being his holiday in Goa that it really is just that - a tease?

My answer for you is that my Indian Man has been extremely open and honest with me from the very beginning. He has created a net around our love filled with trust. Surprisingly there are no holes in this net. Not one single hole to let one bit of trust escape. You may be wondering how I can be so sure about his honesty. He's proved it by example, examples that are continuous in their nature.

Trust is one of those things that when it is lost between a couple very rarely ever comes back again the same. I'm not suggesting if you caught your man in a lie that the relationship is doomed, but I am saying I bet you will never feel the same way as you did about him again. This is a sad moment in a relationship, the heart never recovers. And my heart breaks for those of you who are dealing with mistrust in your relationship on a daily basis. I have gone through this, I know many friends who have gone or are currently going through this, and I am here to tell you that you deserve better.

If you are more than just a holiday in Goa to your man, all the signs will be there. Below are my opinion of 10, but the list could go on and on.

1. Speaking of lists, you will be first on his. 'Nuff said. --But never take advantage of this.
2. You won't be something on the side, or a "booty call". And every woman knows deep down when we are exactly this. Remember, a woman's intuition is a true thing! Listen to it. Act upon it.
3. Every one of his friends will know who you are and what you mean to him. And because they value their friendship with your man, you will be respected in their presence.
4. He will value time spent with you and the memories you made. Perhaps you'll start to notice his collection and safe keeping of items and remembrances that you two have done together.
5. He'll want to take pictures of you and him together. If he has facebook or another networking account, he'll upload them for all to see. (Of course, in the beginning of our relationship, there were certain friends and family members My Indian Man felt he needed to wait and explain our relationship properly to.) I completely understood his reasoning for this.
6. He will be open to talking about the future with you. In fact, he may be the first to bring up the conversation! My Indian Man never suffered convulsions at the mere mentioning of marriage and children. From the very beginning, we expressed our desires for both. So if you know your man wants these things, but hesitates to talk about it with you, you may be his holiday in Goa.
7. He will listen to you. Even when you're rambling. I am always amazed by how intently My Indian Man listens to me. We spent 7 months apart and during that entire period we had to maintain our relationship through the telephone. If there were other things he had rather been doing than talking to me about my day, he never showed it. He held on to every word and responded justly.
8. He won't be dating (or married to) anyone else. This one may seem silly, but you might be surprised how often us women will wait around for a man while he works on "ending" his relationship with another woman. If your man isn't choosing you and only you, he doesn't love you. You are his holiday in Goa.
9. He'll start to love the things you love. My Indian Man didn't have a liking towards dogs when he first met me. In India, dogs are rascals. They can be unclean and dangerous. They annoy you with their constant barking. You have to chase them away with a stick or throw rocks at them to get them off your property. Well guess what? I have two dogs. My Indian Man was fearful of them at first. He was unaccustomed to petting them and feeding them and taking them for car rids. But now it is second nature to him. He loves them because I love them. He could have refused to have them anywhere near him. But, out of respect for me, he didn't do this.
10. He'll do things for you. And not because he only wants to win back your heart after breaking it with a sledge hammer. I know plenty of women who have men that buy them expensive items, take them out to fancy dinners, show up at their door with flowers or a morning coffee and even take them on an all-expense paid vacations. All of this nonsense when what the woman really desires is his trust and commitment. When I say he will do things for you, I mean simple every day things. Kind gestures. Things that require no expense. Don't be with your man because he does things for you. Be with your man because he's there for you.

And may I throw in one last thing while it is on my mind? Your man will speak nicely to you.So many women, myself included, have been and are being verbally abused in relationships. A man who truly loves, respects, and cares for you and can imagine a future with you, will never use disgusting and hateful words directed at you. He will never fathom calling you such things behind your back, either.

If you feel that you could be your man's holiday in Goa, there are two things you can do right now. You can continue to go on making excuses for your man and hurting yourself in the process, or you can see renewal beyond the horizon, and run for it...run as fast as you can